How to Tell If It’s Verbal Sexual Harassment — And What to Do Next

Not all harassment involves physical contact. In California, verbal sexual harassment can absolutely be grounds for a legal claim if it crosses the line into creating a hostile, intimidating, or offensive work environment.

That line isn’t always obvious. One inappropriate comment may not be enough, but repeated remarks, suggestive language, crude jokes, or unwanted advances could form the basis of a case.

The key is whether the behavior was severe or pervasive enough to affect your ability to do your job.

What is Verbal Sexual Harassment?

Verbal sexual harassment involves unwelcome comments, jokes, or language of a sexual nature that create a hostile or offensive work environment. It doesn’t require physical contact. Words alone can violate California law.

Under the California Fair Employment and Housing Act (FEHA), harassment based on sex or gender is prohibited. This includes verbal conduct that is severe enough or happens often enough to make a reasonable person feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or unable to do their job.

Verbal sexual harassment can include:

• Unwanted sexual comments about your body, appearance, or clothing
• Sexual jokes or innuendos that target you or are said in your presence
• Requests for sexual favors or pressure to go on dates
• Offensive questions about your sex life, orientation, or romantic relationships
• Gender-based insults or derogatory language targeting your sex or gender identity
• Repeated compliments that focus on your physical appearance rather than your work
• Crude or explicit language that is sexual in nature

Even if the person says they’re “just joking” or claims they “didn’t mean anything by it,” the impact on you matters more than the intent behind the words.

When Does a Comment Become Harassment?

Not every remark rises to the level of illegal harassment. But when comments are unwelcome, repeated, or severe, they may cross into unlawful territory.

California courts look at whether the conduct is:

• Unwelcome – You didn’t invite or encourage it
• Based on sex or gender – The comments target you because of your sex, gender identity, or gender expression
• Severe or pervasive – The behavior is either really bad (even if it only happened once) or it happens regularly
• Objectively offensive – A reasonable person in your position would find it hostile or abusive

Thanks to the 2024 ruling in Bailey v. San Francisco, even a single severe comment can now support a harassment claim under FEHA. If a coworker uses an extremely offensive slur or makes a particularly egregious sexual remark, that one incident may be enough.

Common Examples of Verbal Sexual Harassment

Verbal harassment takes many forms. Sometimes it’s obvious. Other times, it’s subtle or disguised as humor. Here are some real-world examples:

• A supervisor repeatedly commenting on what you’re wearing and whether it’s “flattering”
• A colleague making jokes about your body or making sexual gestures while talking to you
• Someone asking invasive questions about your dating life, sexual orientation, or whether you’re single
• A coworker using gendered slurs or making comments like “you’d be prettier if you smiled more.”
• Being told you should “loosen up” or “learn to take a joke” after objecting to sexual comments
• Receiving unsolicited sexual propositions, even if they’re framed as compliments
• Hearing repeated discussions about pornography, sex acts, or someone’s personal sex life in your presence

You don’t have to prove that the harasser intended to offend you. What matters is how the behavior affected you and your ability to work.

Who Can Be a Harasser?

Verbal sexual harassment can come from anyone in the workplace:

• Supervisors or managers – If your boss or someone with authority over you makes sexual comments, your employer is strictly liable. That means the company is responsible whether or not they knew it was happening.
• Coworkers – If a colleague at your level is harassing you, your employer is liable if they knew or should have known about it and failed to take action.
• Clients or customers – Even if the harasser doesn’t work for your company, your employer has a duty to protect you from harassment by third parties.

Harassment can also happen between people of any sex. Men can harass women, women can harass men, and harassment can occur between people of the same sex.

What Should You Do If You’re Experiencing Verbal Sexual Harassment?

If you’re dealing with verbal harassment at work, here are some steps to consider:

1. Talk to an Employment Attorney

An attorney can help you understand your rights, guide you through the complaint process, and take legal action if your employer fails to respond. You don’t have to handle this alone.

2. Make It Clear that the Behavior Is Unwelcome

If you feel safe doing so, tell the person their comments are inappropriate and ask them to stop. This isn’t always possible, and you’re not required to do it, but it can help establish that the conduct was unwelcome.

3. Document Everything

Keep a detailed record of what’s happening:

• Date, time, and location of each incident
• What was said, word for word if you can remember
• Who was present or nearby
• How the comment made you feel
• Any witnesses who saw or heard it

Save emails, texts, or voicemails that contain harassing language. Documentation can make a significant difference if you decide to file a complaint.

4. Report the Harassment

Most companies have policies for reporting harassment. Follow your employer’s procedures and report the behavior to HR or a supervisor. Make sure to do it in writing so there’s a record.

If your employer is small or doesn’t have HR, report it to whoever is in charge.

5. Know That Retaliation Is Illegal

California law protects you from retaliation if you report harassment. Your employer cannot demote, discipline, isolate, or fire you for speaking up.

If you face retaliation after reporting, you may have an additional legal claim.

What Happens After You Report Harassment?

Once you report verbal sexual harassment, your employer has a legal obligation to investigate and take action. This means:

• Promptly investigating your complaint
• Interviewing witnesses and gathering evidence
• Taking corrective action if harassment is confirmed, such as disciplining the harasser, providing training, or separating you from the person
• Preventing retaliation against you for reporting

If your employer ignores your complaint, conducts a sham investigation, or fails to take action, they may be liable for allowing a hostile work environment.

What Are Your Legal Options?

If your employer doesn’t address the harassment or if it continues after you report it, you have legal options.

You can file a complaint with the California Civil Rights Department (CRD), formerly known as the Department of Fair Employment and Housing. You generally have three years from the date of the harassment to file.

You may also be able to file a lawsuit against your employer for:

• Harassment under FEHA
• Failure to prevent harassment
• Retaliation if you faced negative consequences for reporting
• Wrongful termination if you were fired because you complained

Remedies can include back pay, emotional distress damages, punitive damages, and attorneys’ fees.

You Don’t Have to Put Up with Verbal Sexual Harassment

Words matter. They can hurt, humiliate, and make it impossible to focus on your work. If you’re dealing with verbal sexual harassment, you have rights—and you have options.

Contact TONG LAW today for a confidential consultation with an experienced California employment attorney. Let’s talk about what’s happening at your workplace and what we can do to help.